I can't fall asleep tonight... my mind is racing and my heart is aching for some friend's that are suffering through a miscarriage right now.
My mind is racing about how people, *especially* Christians, always seem to have "words of wisdom" to speak during times of hardship, crisis and grief. Christians are so good, so programmed, to spew their Christianese during the hard times. I have so many things I want to say to this family, about this horrible situation... so many "Christianly optimistic" things I can say... so many "its in God's hands", "God has a plan", and "there's a reason" phrases I can speak. But when someone is in the middle of grief, do those phrases really help? Do those phrases truly give Glory to God when used during those times? I don't believe they do.I continually struggle with this idea of "Christian optimism" as I'll call it.... when we always have the upbeat thing to say during times that are low, hard, overwhelming and dark. Part of me says, "well, we are suppose to give Glory and thanks to God in ALL situations... so if someone is struggling, its our Christian duty to keep things pointed towards the Lord." The other part of me says that "yes, as Christians, we are called to uplift, encourage, support and love on each other, but trying to be "Christianly optimistic" when someone really just needs an ear to listen to them, or a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to take up their sadness for a bit, trying to "point others to the Lord" through our Christianese, is more about making ourselves feel good, then truly helping the other person". And that is wrong! That is not what Jesus did and that is not what we are suppose to do.
Recently someone was telling me about the horrible physical ailments that their friend was suffering with. They went on and on about all the physical issues and then just "tied it up" with a quick "but God has a plan". What the hay??? Yes, to God be the Glory that He can and will take all things and use them for His good and His glory... but isn't there a time just to say "man, that sucks"; "that is so hard", "I'm just so sorry" or just to say nothing at all (what a riveting concept for most us Christians).
So.... where is all this leading? I don't know. I just know that I am sick and tired of my own, and others, Christianese "word vomit" during hard times. Can't we just hug our friends, say we are sorry, and pray? Can we actually stay quiet and just let the person know we love them? I know that I am just as guilty as my eye-planked sisters and brothers in this area. I just hope that my personal awareness of this, particularly with everything we've gone through and continue to go through with Carson, will help me be more aware of my need to speak my "Christian optimism" during times when I don't know what to say, and help me to be more silent and prayerful.
Lord - help me. The one that you love is sick (in my need to spew words), and needs Your help!
